There are some people that really make the difference.

There are the ones that you lean on, and the ones that you trust in.
The ones that push you, and the ones that pick you up.
The ones that know how to laugh, and the ones that know how to cry.

Words don't really have the ability to sum up some experiences, and as hard as we try, and as much as we'd like them to, they can't replace the magic of the moment.

There's been a lot of those moments for me over the last year, and it's hard to try and think of how to write something like this. But I owe it to those who have made an impact and been there, to translate to emotions to words as best as I can.

When arriving in Sweden a few months ago, I entered a place completely foreign to me. New foods, new sites. New thoughts, and new people.

Throughout the program, we learned a lot about a process called backcasting, where you envision your ideal future and then develop solutions based upon where you are today to reach that goal. Well it's fair to say that I wasn't backcasting all that much from any understanding of what the next year would fully entail for me when I arrived back in August. I walked in blind to the next 10 months and was eager to see how my life would be impacted.

Needless to say, there was an impact.

From those who impacted me through patience and determination.
I was blessed to be able to work with an incredible thesis team over the last few months, and without their help, would not have learned nearly as much as I have this year, both about sustainability and myself. Most importantly, I learned what it was like to work with other "spud personalities." My teammates were incredible when it came to dedicating time to really crank out our thesis and put in the research and writing needed to complete the paper. Being able to work with others who were so passionate and committed to a project was inspiring, and a critical learning point for knowing how others interact with me and my passions on projects. Thinking back on forming groups back in December, it's incredible how much we have bonded as a group and I can do nothing but smile to think of how the future will connect us on further projects! Thank you for the many long hours of thesis discussions interspersed with discussions on life - I can't imagine this year without both of you along the journey :)

From those who impacted me through conversations of meaning.
Over the last year, I was able to get into some really neat conversations with folks here in the program - a few people jump to mind and I'm pretty sure you know who you are. Many of the blog posts that spilled onto this site over the last few months have largely been in response to those conversations. There were conversations about pacifism, others about unconditional love, some about living a life of purpose, and others about putting faith into practice. I tend to look on my faith as an act of learning, following, challenging and growing - all four of those stages have truly flourished and I owe it to those willing to sit up late at night talking or stop their work for a moment to take a walk - your commitment has been unwavering. Thank you for listening and thank you for your sincerity.

From those who impacted me through tears of laughter and tears of sadness.
No year is complete without it's own set of hills and valleys, and this year was no different. Most specifically, I found myself living in a community unlike any others I've lived in before. Back in August, I remember meeting a whole array of people over a relatively short period of time, but there was something that happened which found five of us sticking closer together. We eventually found an incredible apartment for the five of us and I can easily say that many of my most memorable moments from this past year has come from those individuals. Throughout the year, we managed to do community cooking nearly every night, and each dinner lasted around 1.5 - 3 hours. During that time, we got to know one another and learned to recognize each others laugh. Lea was known for the simplest of things sending her off in quite hysterical laughing sets. Matt had an incredible ability to thoroughly enjoy other people's laughter, and often found himself sitting slightly away from the table to avoid Andrea's feet while laughing at the shenanagans unfolding. Wyeth was typically responsible for many of our laughs, whether it be by smashing his toe in a chair or constantly mishearing others, but he was always quick to join in on the laughter. And Andrea had an incredible silent laughter which often resulted in tears streaming down her face. I'll miss those dinners quite a lot, but I know that the impact each of you made on me will remain and that our paths will most definitely connect in the future. Here's to an incredible year and helping me define the term community!

As Club Zebra slowly dwindled down and I was left to lock the door one last time, a tear streamed down my face. It was a confused tear - part sadness, part happiness. Part built on memories of laughter, part built on memories of difficulty. A lot happened within those walls, and as I closed the door, a flood of memories washed by. It was one of those cleansing tears, and when it stops running down your cheek you're left with a drying wet stream and the feeling of closing another chapter in life. Although we sometimes avoid those types of tears and the memories and emotions associated with them, they are truly one of the most precious things I have ever experienced. I'll take those tears any day - as hard as I may try to hold them back :)

As planes start to set off and carry with them some of those impact-makers in my life, I am reminded of the true mystery of a world we live in. Just stop and think about the fact that we have the ability to live in a completely mysterious place for just under a year with fairly mysterious people and the next thing you know it, those mysterious people are off on their journey's once again impacting other people that you will most likely never meet.

Here's to the not-so-mysterious-anymore people in my life, I can't imagine life without you.

Never stop dreaming, never stop reaching. Never stop hoping and never stop loving. You have all expressed love beyond comprehension and will never fully understand the impact that these words scribbled here have tried to encompass. I typically try and finish my blog posts feeling assured that they got across the point that I was hoping for, but as I read back through this one, it still doesn't seem justice. But as feeble an attempt it is, I promise it is from the heart. As MercyMe states in one song...

Everybody hopes that maybe somewhere down this road
We'd finally find that place where we belong
A place where we're complete, not one that occupies our dreams
A place we're lucky to call our home

Thank you to everyone for helping me further sculpt that place that I am privileged, honored, and proud to call home! I love you all :)