My Box


Every now and then I get caught up thinking that miracles are only things that used to happen in Biblical times. Sometimes I just can't get my mind around the fact that God really may still be working and sending angels into our lives every day. I feel like too much of the time I try to make God fit into my own little box. Not intentionally or anything, but I'm just so used to what's around me that I expect God to show up throw those things. I think that's why this summer was so awesome for me. Because I was thrown out of my normal scenario and into something I was very unused to. A different continent, different friends, and different culture. And for the first time I was in a situation in which I didn't know what was typical, so I had no walls built up in which to corner God into.

But it's not easy to recognize that there are walls and to tear them down. I keep finding these things about American culture that bug me. And although there's parts that bug me about the way people act, there's also a part that bugs me because I see how this culture has shaped me growing up. But I wonder if I would feel these same feelings had I grown up in some other culture and then come to America. Is it the culture that bugs me, or is it the fact that I've simply grown up in a culture. I guess that part's kind of hard to avoid, but it still frustrates me slightly.

I've realized that when I stop thinking about stuff, I see God working more. Maybe I should say worrying instead of thinking, but its' true. If I stop trying to figure out where God is going to show up, it seems that more often than not, God reveals himself. I think too often we try to figure things out on our own. I know for me, I love to be in control. I like knowing where projects are going and what's happening around me. I feel more comfortable that way. But look at this summer, all my control was taken away and I suddenly started seeing things so much clearly.

This bothers me, because I wish I could always have control. I mean even down to the fact that here in my bedroom, I can scroll through iTunes and pick the worship song that I really want to listen to. Which there's nothing wrong with that, but I've become so used to that form of worship that I sometimes forget to look for worship in other aspects of my life. In Africa, I didn't have iTunes, I didn't have Pulse every Sunday where I could go to and request any song that I wanted. Rather all I had was nature. Anywhere I went, nature followed me, naturally. (ha, I just realized that was a play on words). And I realized that God had placed this beauty all around me and for that entire summer, my worship was tied to nature. It was tied more into God than into the song with the perfect drum beat or guitar rift. I had never experienced that form of worship before. God was no longer confined to my box.

Now the challenge for me is to try to get rid of that box as I sit here in my room at Penn State. I wish I didn't have to try and get rid of that box, I wish it just came naturally. But I'm not in Africa, I'm here. However I've learned things and those lessons will stay with me. Now it's time to apply them to my life here, to the culture that surrounds me at Penn State. Traveling all across Africa is the easy part; it's applying what I learned to Penn State that will be the challenge.

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